we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
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I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
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At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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