Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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