I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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