whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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