dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize