Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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