I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize