I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
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Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
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You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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