ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize