nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
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You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
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My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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