And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
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We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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