So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize