im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You took a bar mat shot.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
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Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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