we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I am available for nakedness
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize