we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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