He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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