im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize