How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize