____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
The best revenge is premature balding
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize