You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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