I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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