I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize