dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
time to smoke my breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize