2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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