I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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