I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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