I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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