Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize