I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize