dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize