Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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