he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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