I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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