I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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