its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize