i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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