I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
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Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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