im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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