My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize