I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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