Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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