If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
it was like eating out sand paper
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Bring me that man meat
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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