The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize