I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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