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so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
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