are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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