just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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