the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being pregnant is like rehab
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize