I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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