Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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